These days, most people want to have authentic relationships, friendships and collaborations.
If your life is personal to you, you have a much better chance to connect with others in an authentic way.
One wonderful way to make my life personal to me is to explore how I celebrate my success and express why am I where I am today.
Exploring one but yet powerful question
Let me tell you about a woman named Sara. She was struggling.
When she hired me, she had various desires from managing her energy to get a new job to be more connected with her values. Finding the connection to her values in order to have the feeling of living an authentic life was key for her.
It’s January 2021, Sara and I are talking about the past year and her challenges.
She is excited by starting the new year. So I ask her one but yet powerful question:
How do you celebrate your success?
She pounders a few seconds and replies:
“Stephane, thank you, I would love to talk about my success.
I’ve noticed that was something I did not do and I would not know where to start.
I always define goals but I never analyze the results.
I think I am too afraid to find out “Yet another year with no progress towards my goals…””
– end quote
Do you connect with your success or your fears?
You may have noticed that Sara does not answer the question.
Instead she talks about her fears about success.
Sometimes, answering right away questions like
How do I celebrate my success? or
Why am I where I am today?
In his book, Authentic Success, the British psychologist Robert Holden developed 15 Fear of Success Indicators.
I’ve picked up 3 fears for you today. The question is simple:
How much can you identify with those statements?
[4-Completely, 3-Very, 2-Quite, 1-Not at all]
#1 Statement: I am not confident enough to see how successful I could really be.
#2 Statement: I believe that success always leads to a fall in the end.
#3 Statement: I do not always believe I deserve all the success I experience.
If your score is high, chances are you would be interested by the fears that are hidden within each statement.
Let’s look briefly the fears that would correspond to each statement:
#1 Fear of surrender:
Most people with great talent or great purpose are able to surrender to their goal.
Who could I be if I were willing to surrender to the goal in order to make way for inspiration and success?
#2 Fear of the fall:
When a person’s success (The Garden of Eden) ends with a fall to Earth again. Imagine that your life was a Success Contract. You are holding it in your hands in front of you.
What if you could rewrite your Success Contract today, how would you like to rewrite it?
What would be the first fresh idea there?
And What else?
#3 Fear of deserving:
several dynamics may be at work:
Impostor Syndrome: I cannot hold positive qualities others see in me. If your best friend had those positive qualities, what would you say to her?
Fraud Guilt: I cannot be that person with this new success. Who could you impact with that new success? What new opportunities are now available to you and others?
Suffering Ethic: There is so much suffering in the world that I do not deserve such good fortune. So how would you like to use your good fortune – happiness, success, wealth – to help others?
Creating an authentic connection with others start by celebrating my success.
How could I celebrate fully the success of others if I don’t create it for myself?
Take a piece of paper and answer the following questions:
How do you celebrate your success?
Why are you where you are today?
How do you feel when you start answering those questions?
Which statement from the 3 mentioned above is true for you?
To help you grow
Love to get help to connect with yourself and others? Join The Authentic Connection Circle
A great book that inspired me in 2020 | Authentic Success, Essential lessons and practices from the World’s leading coaching on Success Intelligence, Robert Holden PhD.